So today is Bin Day for our friends in Clacton.

Whilst we await the pointless and expensive nonsense from the throughly unpatriotic and corrupt millionaire with an unimaginably snowflake-fragile ego who believes competing against a fictional space alien to do a job he clearly has no interest in doing somehow constitutes “railing against the establishment” to run its course, I did hear one new record-breaking fact.

The physical length of the ballot paper is 90cm. Never before have we seen this in Britain.

Why? I assume because there’s also a record number of candidates competing - 34 - although, famously, very few from parties you’ve probably ever heard of.