Just in case any wayward Americans wanted even more reasons to vote Democrat in the upcoming presidential elections - although “we’re not Trump” should really be sufficient to be fair - it seems like the Dem campaign co-opted a tweet from none other than world’s best poster dril in service of their campaign.
They went with a screenshot of one of the more famous missives; the now-a-decade-old “I’m not mad” one.
and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad.
It was of course in reference to the increasingly unhinged performances by their mortal enemy, Trump, at his ramshackle press conferences. Writing that sentence just brought back happy memories of the Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
As far as I’m aware this is the first time that this God of the Posting Age has been immortalised in official campaign material. I hope this means he’s granted a special place in the Library of Congress or something.
Unfortunately, the Dems repeated the mistake of all those embarrassing Republican campaigns who use some famous music only to be told by the artist concerned that they loathe everything the campaign stand for. Dril was not quite as vocally aggressive perhaps, but honestly, Kamala should give him at least the $25 he requested
“I think they should be forced to apologize publicly,” writes @dril, “in an unnecessary and embarrassing display of fealty towards me and my posts, as well as compensate me for the full value of the tweet, which I estimate would be about $25.00.”
Maybe he’d even consider withdrawing his rather feisty post on the subject of the current government’s approach to the Israel/Palestine troubles (but probably not, dril doesn’t seem the kind of guy to be so easily bought in this way).
Given he’s back in the news, it seems as good a time as ever to commermorate some of dril’s finest work. If “x.com” ever does totally vanish that will be perhaps the only part I’d miss. Here is some of that gold dust for posterity.
issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the terror group ISIL. you do not, under any circumstances, “gotta hand it to them”
the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
“This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender,” i holler as i overturn my uncle’s barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Candles $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
if your grave doesnt say “rest in peace” on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that the celebs are at it again
awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far
drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or no
THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree
DOCTOR: you cant keep doing this to yourself. being The Last True Good Boy online will destroy you. you must stop posting with honor ME: No,
Guns:
the human mind… perhaps the most powerful weapon. second only to the “GUN”
turning a big dial taht says “Racism” on it and constantly looking back at the audience for approval like a contestant on the price is right
i often disagree with DigimonOtis, but his efforts to keep Sharia Law out of the donkey kong 64 wiki are much needed in this wolrd of danger
i hate i t when girls think im proposing whenever i take the knee at them in protest
the worst part of nationalism is having to pretend the flag is really good, like “yeah the country looks exactly like that. they nailed it”
theres a popular nursery rhyme in which the singer claims to be a teapot. this, for many children, is their first experience with “Trolling
Not the world’s smallest violin:
playing the worlds most normal sized violin
in a world where big data threatens to commodify our lives,. telling online surveys that i “Dont know” what pringles are constitutes Heroism
im the only guy who knows how to call out the bull shit of society the smart way. and against all odds i do it for free
Another one with potential to victimise the Trump campaign with:
“im not owned! im not owned!!”, i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
ME: please show me the posts in the order that they were made COMPUTER: thats too hard. heres some tweets i think are good. Do you like this
But don’t write to him:
let me be very clear: i would rather attend a Pig’s wedding than attempt to sift through the dumpster you people have made out of my dm box,
the pursuit of having trhe nicest opinions online… is the only thing that separates us from the god damn animals. the sole reason we exist
Honestly, so many gems. None of them really possible to explain to anyone who isn’t immediately bowled over by their beauty